Grace so amazing!

So tonight as I went to sleep, I was crying out to Jesus to help me because I felt like I was failing to live in the freedom from sin that He died to provide me with. In other words, I felt like despite my freedom and new life and salvation in Jesus, I was still acting like a sinner who had not been redeemed. I do the same things wrong over and over again, even when I know they're wrong. "How can you possibly still forgive me, Lord? It's not like I'm a sinner who is continuing to sin. I understand your grace for them. But I'm already saved! How can you still love me when I am in a relationship with you, but I keep ignoring this gift of salvation and freedom that you sacrificed yourself so I could have. How selfish and cruel!"

Then when I woke up, I read Hebrews 9 and 10. Hebrews 10:19-23 says, "Therefore, brother, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great high priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful."

This brought me comfort and hope! I reminded me that I am free from a guilty conscience, and this coupled with Romans 7, where Paul discusses his struggle with sin even after salvation, made me confident that I am still firmly in Jesus and have nothing to worry about. Until I continued reading in Hebrews, that is.

Hebrews 10:26-31: "If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins in left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. Anyone who rejected the law of Moses died without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. How much more severely do you think a man deserves to be punished who has trampled the Son of God under foot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified him, and who has insulted the Spirit of grace? For we know him who said, "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," and again, "The Lord will judge his people." It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God."

Uh oh. Do I not fall into the category of people who "deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth"? I sat there for a long time, not praying really, except to tell the Lord that I was staying available for Him to speak. I believe during this half and hour or so of sitting, God directed my attention to the phrase "deliberately keep on sinning." Ok, what does that mean? It doesn't say, "people who deliberately sin" after receiving knowledge of the the truth, because that could be an isolated occurrence, or sever isolated occurrences, but rather people who "keep on sinning." The latter implies that the person never repents, but is continually rejecting the truth. The former could be a person like me, who is saved, who has repented and accepted forgiveness, but still sins. However, I am always brought back to repentance, sometimes even in the midst of sinning I know I am going to end up before the Lord in repentance. Ah ha!

The passage is speaking of those who never repent of their sins. God gives you your whole life to repent, and if you don't, then you are subject to the punishment described in the passage. The next thing I thought was, "Oy, that sounds harsh." But then I thought about it: let's say you're walking down the street, and someone starting shooting at you. Before the bullets reach you, someone jumps in front of the bullets and dies instead. The shooter, defeated, runs off. The person who saved you writhes there on the ground, dying slowing, but all the while smiling up at you with love. Eventually, he dies. You wait, and after some times has passed, the person stands up again, miraculously alive and free of bullets, although the holes are still visible--clearly this is the same person who just got peppered with gun fire for you. He says to you, "I have a miraculous new life, and I want you to share that life with me. Let's be friends." Your reply? "No thanks, I'd prefer we never speak. I don't want to see you, I'm just going to pretend you don't exist."

Most people would call you an ungrateful jerk. Actually, most people would call you something a lot worse than that. Now add this in: for whatever reason, you deserved to get shot. I know what you're thinking, "Moi?" Yeah, you. Let's say you absolutely, 100% had it coming. You might be saying, "But I don't think anyone ever deserves to die, no matter how despicable." Well, the Bible says that the wages of sin is death. God is holy and perfect, and can't be in the presence of sin. It is contrary to His nature. You might think that is narrow-minded or overly-conservative, but the fact is, it doesn't matter what you think. You're not God. God says sin is punishable by death, and that's that.

However, he is not only a just God, he is a loving God. Jesus was fully God, but he actually humbled himself and became obedient unto death so that you and I could have forgiveness and new life with him. The creator of the universe did that for you and me. Think about hurricanes and earthquakes and volcanoes: these are things that we as humans cannot conquer, we can just run away to try to avoid the damage. These are things God created, and he alone is the master of, and that's only on the Earth. So think about how huge the whole universe is. He created all of that, he was master of it all, but he made himself the lowest of human beings, subject to temptation and hardship and cold and hunger and ultimately a gruesome death that every single person on earth deserved except him. And he did it all, so that when he was resurrected, he could offer us new life, and have a relationship with him.

So when you say no to that, it will be a "dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God."

I am not perfect. No Christian is, no matter how we may act sometimes. But even as I stumble, and even as often as I do, I am still made perfect through Christ. Hebrews 10:13 says, "...by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy." The work of Jesus' death is both an instantaneous one and a continual one. I have received the forgiveness that is instant, and now I am undergoing the continuous process of being made holy by his sacrifice. Thank you, Jesus, for being willing to work in me every day the reality of freedom and life that your death and resurrection secured for me! You are a merciful, wonderful Savior and Friend, and I love you!

If you're reading this and you have yet to accept Jesus' free gift of forgiveness and life, now is the time. At the end of your life, if you have not received his forgiveness, there is nothing you can do for yourself anymore. I know I risk sounding like the nay-saying Bible thumpers that shout down students at the public universities who we all avoid or mock, but this is the truth: without accepting Jesus' forgiveness, you doom yourself to eternal damnation. Eternity apart from God is the penalty for not accepting his opportunity for purification.

But beyond that, life in Jesus on earth means freedom and joy and life and love and community that you cannot possibly get elsewhere. I know it may seem like it, and sadly for some it is, but the reality of being a Christian is not a grim, rigid, religious existence. I have had more fun than I can express with my Christian family, and sometimes that's just sitting over a meal joking or watching a movie together. But the familial bond that exists between Christians who have never even met speaks to the truth and reality of the lives we live in Jesus. We are knit together in Him! And he is our comfort and hope when life is hard, and our joy and song every day.

I've had a rough last year and a half. Often I've cried out to God saying I feel like a hypocrite because I don't feel the hope or comfort that I profess can be had in Jesus, and when I say often, I mean as recently as last night. But honestly, the reality is that the worst place I can be in Jesus is still better than the best place I could be without him. And I know that to be true. He is comforting me and protecting me and loving me, even if I don't feel it. If I don't feel it, it is only because he has been doing it for so long that I can't fathom what life would be without it. He is there, and He is wonderful, and I trust Him.

If you haven't accepted Jesus into your life as your Savior, or you're not sure, you can do it where you are right now. Jesus is waiting. The beautiful thing about Jesus is, even after he jumped in front of those bullets and we rejected him anyway, he is not hurt or angry. He loves you the same! And the moment you decide to come to him, you will be welcomed in love. Romans 10:9 says, "If you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." In other words, all you have to do is believe in him, and say so. He is waiting to receive you.

If you have questions, or comments, or anything therein, feel free to ask. Far from having all the answers, I probably have more questions than anything, but it is ok not to have all the answers (in fact it is inevitable), as long as you trust in Jesus.

He loves you, and he wants you. I am praying for you, whoever you are, whether or not you are in Jesus already. Be blessed in Jesus. Take comfort and rest in Him, and I'll do the same.

Love in Him,
Lindsey